Family Not Shaken by Father’s Attempts to Flirt with Waitress

The Rosario family of San Fuego, California, was able to enjoy their evening eating out despite family patriarch Warner Rosario’s constant attempts to flirt with the restaurant staff, reports say. The family claims they have grown accustomed to this behavior and that last night’s incidents at “Squinggini’s Italian Grille” occur often.

The night began as expected when Warner spanked the seating hostess on the way to their table. Fortunately she felt nothing; her rear end had become numb while sitting and waiting for diners to arrive since Squinggini’s is such an unpopular place.

“After that we all kind of looked at each other as if to say, ‘oh, it’s gonna be one of those nights,’” said Warner’s 15-year-old son Gabriel. “We know how to handle him when he gets like this. Just ignore him and enjoy your meal.”

The waitress, Becky Miller, did not pick up on Warner’s flirtations for some time after she first showed up to take their orders.

“I guess it’s because he was so old, maybe? Or maybe just because he had his family with him,” said Becky. “I don’t know. Either way I didn’t realize it for a while. And when I did I was just sort of creeped out.”

Francine Rosario, Warner’s wife, apologized to Becky when the meal was over and left a generous tip.

“Nobody takes him seriously so we all sort of don’t care,” said Francine. “It’s just a pain because we have to over-tip every single time we go out.”


Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd |
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.


Killer Advice #04 – Should I Date My Best Friend?

Hey ladies!! It’s me, Brittany von Beuren, Circus Killer News’ official Relationship Expect and Spiritual Advisor! Every week I take one of your questions about love and life and I tell you about things you should be doing with it.

This week’s question comes from my reader Lizzie. She writes…


Question: “Dear Brittany, my best friend for almost a decade has been this guy I met in college. He’s the nicest and most caring guy I’ve ever met but I never thought of him as relationship material. Recently I went through a pretty bad break up and he was the only one who was there for me when I needed someone. I know he wants to take things between us further, and in fact he told me this a few times when we first met, but I don’t know if I’m ready to date again or to risk our friendship. What should I do?”


Answer: Hey Lizzie! First of all you shouldnt be friends with him. Men are only after one thing and its not you’re heart… unless of course he’s like old and needs a new one but that u can avoid by jsut smoking infront of him nd he’ll just take your stemcells instead.

But yea, if theres too things I’ve learned about its that italians will pay you for youre silence more then any other race and that men cant be trusted. even if he takes you for a ride in his racecar or showers you with dimonds or some other painful thing like that, he ultimately just wants you for your body.

Most guys i met arent as presistent as your “friend” here and I think its really cool how you’re able to keep him off a you for that long. But don’t let that barier down, specially now! Men can sense weekness like that and will pounce as soon as he senses your diffenseless or as soon as his wife goes to work. Don’t let your gaurd down!!

So I would realy say this. Don’t be friends with him anymore. The truth is men and women cant be friends. Freinds are people who’s makeup we steel and who we keep around to make fun of for not being as pretty or having a hot guy. And even thow we fight about these things we still comeback together and talk about other girls behind there backs with 4 glasses of wine insted of lunch. Guys get in fights and its like omg suddenley theres war in Uganda and all these peeple are dying and its like… wtf you can just bitch about Germany behind its back all you want but u don’t have to like go there and say it to there face!

My point is this. We have to stick together as women and as co-bitches. Men like youre fiance or boyfreind or whatever is just gonna teare you apart like your friend will also. We hav to depend on eachother to pick us up because I wont step on you! Say yes if you agree with me!! I cant here you because I’m typing this, but I can feel your feminie vibes and its realy turning me on.


So thank you Lizzie for the great question! I’ll be back next week with another, be sure to ask me your questins in the comments AND reach out to me on my Twitter!!! See you in a week! 🙂 ❤


Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd |
By Brittany von Beuren: @BrittyBeuren