Pope to Lose Housing Privileges over Marijuana Possession

Pope Francis was escorted from his home in the Domus Sanctae Marthae guesthouse late last night when Vatican police discovered marijuana under the papal bed. Police were tipped off by a variety of cardinals staying in the same building, who complained of strange odors coming from His Holiness’s room. Pope Francis denies having ever used the substance, claiming to have just been holding it for a friend.

“I don’t get what the big deal is,” said the Holy Father shortly after the ordeal. “Everyone else does it and it’s not even bad for you.”

This is the second strike for Pope Francis, who was denied access to the Apostolic Palace in 2013 after repeated noise violations during quiet hours.

“A board is being put together to decide what will happen to His Holiness,” said a spokesman for the Gendarmerie Corps of Vatican City. “We don’t know what his punishment will be, but one more offense and he may be suspended from the Vatican altogether.”


Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories posted here should be taken seriously or literally.

2 thoughts on “Pope to Lose Housing Privileges over Marijuana Possession

  1. I’m very disappointed with Pope Francis. Is it possible he’s been imbibing too much holy water and it has impaired his judgement?


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