Area man Arthur Genero was seen in a Minnesota park last weekend, chugging a tube of M&M’s Minis as though it were a normal, daily routine. Fellow park-goers were shocked by Genero’s display of apathy towards his own self-image, and were quick to condemn the 45-year-old office jockey, who has clearly been letting himself go.
“It’s despicable what has become acceptable in our society,” said local elder Maureen Shanahan. “I used to take my granddaughters to that park every weekend. Now I don’t know what to do, I can’t imagine exposing them to such depravity.”
Word of the affair spread quickly in this small, unnamed Minnesota town, and Genero has been met with angered and confused looks ever since.
“I always knew there was something wrong with him,” says Jim Henkman, a coworker of Genero’s. “I think we all did. But no one thought he could be capable of this. No one.”
Genero refused to comment on the matter, which is good because I didn’t want to get a quote from him anyway. He’s revolting.
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By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra
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