Circus Killer appears to be the only news outlet that recognizes Joe Biden as the heartthrob sex-machine that he is. In an effort to bring the real Biden to light, we compiled a list of the Vice President’s sexiest moments in the year 2014. You’re welcome.
Jan 10 – Restored a ’63 Chevy on White House lawn shirtless.
Jan 24 – Pointed, smiled and winked at a female reporter who then fainted.
Feb 12 – Nursed family of abandoned, dying lion cubs back to health after their mother was killed by poachers.
Apr 4 – Stopped a tsunami from decimating the west coast after 30-minute dialogue with Pacific Ocean.
May 1 – Grilled over six thousand burgers while giving keynote speech at University of Delaware graduation ceremony.
Jun 14 – Became only human being in history to look attractive in American flag themed leather jacket.
Jul 30 – Out-drank Putin.
Aug 22 – Avenged the mother of those lion cubs from February.
Oct 4 – Solved more cases in one week than any other Vice Presidents on the force.
Nov 18 – Made dinner.
Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd | Ask.fm
Written by Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra
Research by Brittany von Beuren: @BrittyBeuren
DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.
