Bodybuilder Apparently Without Concept of Own Hideousness

Bodybuilder Hansel Jacobi has no idea how revolting his body is, several friends and family members say. Jacobi’s loved ones have tried to tell him how repulsed they are at his cartoonishly inflated muscles, but Jacobi has refused to listen.

“I was having drinks with him last week,” says Jacobi’s friend Peter who doesn’t share his friend’s interest in bodybuilding and fitness training. “Or at least, we were trying to. We were over at our friend’s house and the big guy couldn’t even hold a beer bottle; his hand muscles were too big for him to make a fist. We had to spoon-feed him alcohol all night.”

“It’s just frightening,” said Jacobi’s sister, “to think about how those muscles must be a burden to him. The veins on his pecks are as thick as my thumb, and I know that because he never wears a shirt. They just don’t fit him.”

Anytime someone brings up with Jacobi how his image is cause for concern or embarrassment, Jacobi dismisses them.

“What’s the matter? Afraid I’m gonna pulverize ya?” Jacobi once said to his mother when she asked if he needed help scratching his face. “Just remember I could beat the pulp out of anyone at any point if I wanted to.”


Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd |
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.

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