Boston, Massachusetts, has been in a state of emergency since last weekend’s snowfall with more on the way tonight. With a record-breaking 9 feet of snow on the ground, the city has had to call upon the world’s most devious supervillains to assist emergency services with clearing out the snow.

“I and my staff understand the dangers of trusting our city with these insane villains,” said mayor Dalton Dunley, “especially given how often most of them have threatened to destroy it. But desperate times call for desperate measures.”

The mayor called upon Dr. Diabolico this morning to use his Mega-Space Deathray to melt the snow down in order to create a manageable flooding problem. Other supervillains like The Black Magnus have been obliterating the snow with Super Energy Bombs and De-Atomization Beams.

Every supervillain currently working on Boston’s snow problem has been promised the power to rule over Boston for an entire day. This has some Bostonians worried.

“I think the mayor’s forgetting what some of these crooks have done in the past,” said local resident Julian Harris. “The Human Roach picked up my Chevy and threw it at Windex-Woman a few months ago before I had the thing paid off. I get that they’re trying to help, but these guys know one thing and one thing only, and that’s property damage.”

Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
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By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

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