Quantum Fast Food Chain Allows Customers to Eat Their Food Before Ordering

The fast food franchise “Quantum Burger” has taken the nation by storm with its new ordering system that allows customers to eat their meals before they can even order them. This revolution in fast food production has put the up-and-coming burger joint at the head of the competition, earning itself the slogan, “The Fastest Burgers You’ll Ever Have (And Possibly Not Have Simultaneously).”

“It’s an amazing idea and I can’t believe it’s taken this long,” says Quantum Burger diner Alex Seleto. “What I love is that I can determine whether or not I enjoy my food before I decide what I want to get. So like if I decide after eating my burger that I didn’t like the pickles, I can tell them that when I order and the burger they make for me, which I just ate, won’t have had any pickles on it.”

Despite Quantum Burger’s rapid growth in the market, there are a number of kinks in the system that still need to be worked out. Ingredients will appear seemingly at random, for example, or the burgers might heat up spontaneously, forcing customers to wait for them to cool for an undefined amount of time.

“I mean, the system isn’t perfect,” said Quantum Burger spokesperson Gayle Masterson. “We’ll be the first to admit that. But given the billions we invested in our Meat Collision Accelerator, I think the positive outcomes outweigh the negative outcomes. Although those outcomes do seem to change every time we observe them.”

 

Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd | Ask.fm
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s