Last 30 Minutes of 2 Hour Movie Just Credits List of ‘Digital Artists’

The highly anticipated Battle Squad: Age of Tomorrow hit theaters last Friday, breaking box office records and bringing the famed “Battle Squad” children’s toys to life on the big screen for the third time. Fans of the series were upset, however, upon discovering that the last 30 minutes of the 122 minute epic was just the list of the film’s “Digital Artists” during the ending credits.

The producers of Battle Squad: Age of Tomorrow have been defending their decision to put so many people in the post-production team, saying, “People want these beloved childhood heroes to be as lifelike and realistic as possible. If this means hiring 90 or more people to make sure that John Battleman’s nostrils flare up to precisely the right width when the evil Dr. Insanatee threatens to kill his wife Shirley Schwartz, then by God we’re hiring 90 or more people.”

Other fans have been defending the new film, saying that fans shouldn’t get hung up on how short the film was and should instead focus on how this edition of Battle Squad really pulled out all the stops.

“The moment when John Battlman cuts off his own hand to save his daughter’s life before learning that Dr. Insanatee is her real father and the bomb actually went off already was the coolest part of the entire series,” said one internet blogger. “We wouldn’t have been able to see all of that in such detail if it wasn’t for the digital artists.”

Additionally, a number of digital artists who worked on the movie have come out to defend their positions as well.

“When I went to art school, I never would have thought that my entire industry would be swallowed by the Hollywood machine,” said Amanda Gerscht who worked on the film. “But I’m glad it was. All of the hundreds of fellow art majors who went to my school worked on the film with me, and I’m glad we were able to work together again on an actual Hollywood film, just like we will be forever until every other aspect of filmmaking becomes useless. We are the future. Don’t fight it.”

 

Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.

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