The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is the busiest travel day of the year. Before you head across the country to spend time with the relatives you never see, take a look at these travel tips to help you get to your destination quickly and safely.
Leave about an hour before you think you have to. This way you’ll only be three hours late.
Surgically enlarge your bladder before departing.
Rest stops will constantly be packed so make sure you bring enough food for the trip, or enough munitions to loot fellow commuters mid transit.
Plan on having your Thanksgiving via Skype if traffic gets too bad.
If you’re flying, purchase three or four backup tickets on other flights for when something goes wrong with the first one.
Make sure to bring fully charged electronic entertainment with you so that if you’re travelling with family you can completely ignore each other easily.
Before leaving, passive-aggressively bring up how weird it is that your family never hosts Thanksgiving at your house.
Try taking out a bank loan to pay for gas.
Keep in mind that complaining about poor drivers will turn them into better drivers.
If you’re planning on going through Buffalo, don’t.
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