Darian Wynters, a 32 year old accountant from Massachusetts, received relentless scrutiny from his friends last night when he showed up for dinner at the incorrect TGI Friday’s. Darian spent much of the night and this morning trying to recover from the incident, completely certain that he’ll never live it down as long as he lives.
The confusion started when Tanya, a member of the friend group, posted in the group’s Facebook Messenger thread a few hours beforehand that she wanted to meet at the Friday’s on 5th instead of the one they usually frequent on Riverside Drive. This is because the one on 5th is closer to Tanya’s house and she didn’t want to leave her baby home with a sitter for too long. This struck controversy within the group, and the rest of the afternoon saw a heated debate on the thread over the pros and cons of switching venues.
Finally, Alex laid down the law with a group text that read “guys seroiusly im going to riverside join me if u want too,” which Darian did not receive because frequent weighing in on the Facebook conversation had drained the battery on his phone. He showed up at the one on 5th and waited for thirty-five minutes before trying Riverside, and found that he had missed out on most of the night.
The rest of the evening was spent making fun of Darian. Darian smiled and laughed along with his friends, but each crack at his mistake weakened his resolve. The ordeal was particularly embarrassing for Darian when he found out that in his absence, Alex had bonded with Christina’s friend Miranda, who has been the focus of Darian’s romantic hopes in recent weeks.
Earlier this morning, Darian called the police to report the incident but nobody took him seriously. He has begun writing a book about the shocking act of depravity, titled “Me, My Quesadilla Sampler and I: A Survival Story.”
Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
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By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra
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