Man Stopped at Red Light Inches Forward, Feels Accomplished

Duane Gellman of Harristown, Massachusetts, reported feeling an overwhelming sense of achievement after creeping forward a few inches while stopped at a red light on his way home from work Friday evening.

The decision to inch forward was made about twelve seconds after halting at the light, and the overall process lasted only about two seconds. Gellman says he immediately felt exhilarated once he finished the exercise, claiming that it was the most productive thing he had done all day.

Gellman reported that he’s noticed other drivers practicing this activity but never thought much of it. He says he’s always dismissed it as silly and pointless, but has changed his mind about it since last weekend. Gellman reported feeling as though he has been living his entire life blindfolded, and only the act of slow, brief and minimal coasting can blow that blindfold off.

Gellman has started inching forward at every chance he gets. While parallel parking over the weekend, Gellman was spotted inching his car forward until nearly hitting the parked car in front of him, then throwing it in reverse just so he could do it again.


Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd |
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.

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