Six Dead in Sam’s Club Chocolate Avalanche

Tragedy struck Haverford, Pennsylvania, when the chocolate isle of a Sam’s Club collapsed last Friday, trapping over a dozen customers who were shopping for Valentine’s Day.

The collapse occurred Friday afternoon, mostly trapping married men who waited to the last minute to pick up something for Valentine’s Day. Rescue efforts extended late into the night because most of the chocolate had become unboxed and unwrapped during the avalanche and needed to be tediously rewrapped and repackaged once removed from the pile.

Eleven people of the seventeen who were caught in the avalanche survived by eating their way out.

“It was the most horrifying experience of my life,” said Daniel Oldhardt, one of the survivors. “And then I remembered what I used to tell myself in middle school – just keep eating and everything will be alright.”

Evidence suggests that half of the deceased also tried to eat their way out but stopped themselves so as not to spoil their dinner. The other half appear to have felt it was safer not to because they were diabetic.

 

Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd | Ask.fm
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.

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