Woman Suspiciously Too Attractive to be Working at Burger King

Numerous Burger King customers in Virginia were shocked upon seeing how attractive the newest cashier was at one of the chain’s local, medium sized restaurants.

“I really couldn’t believe it,” said frequent Burger King diner Wayne Portman. “I was pretty sure she was an actress on one of them hidden camera shows or something. But I’ve seen her here maybe eight times in the last two weeks so it’s gotta be legitimate.”

The cashier, Barbara Bealman, started working at Burger King to help pay her way through college since her parents decided to stop paying after an embarrassing alcohol-related incident.

“I’ve never had a job before but everyone is super nice,” said Barbara. “People keep tipping me and giving me their phone numbers… I thought that was just for real fancy restaurants.”

Barbara’s coworkers meanwhile have been trying to figure out what’s wrong with the new cashier.

“Everyone at Burger King’s got something wrong with them,” said Regina Florres, one of the chain’s drive-thru window operators. “Half of our fry cooks have chronic eczema and most of them have braces into their 30s. A lot of the janitors and cleaning staff often try to communicate with the animals they find running around the serving area. Hell, even our manager only works here because he’s on house arrest and lives in one of the trailers that you always see parked in the parking lot. But this new girl… I can’t find one thing wrong with her.”


Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.

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