Corporate accountant Geoffrey Paulson irritated some of his coworkers this morning when he answered honestly after being asked how his home life was going.

“Oh boy, not that great,” Paulson reportedly told a number of coworkers. “I’ve suspected that my wife has been cheating on me for a while and I think I finally found evidence of it in her texts.”

It was at this point in Paulson’s story that his coworkers started to regret asking the notoriously honest geek about his home life.

“On top of that my bank just recently froze all of my credit cards so I’m kind of coasting on fumes here. I’m not totally sure how I’m gonna make through the week, honestly.”

Regret mixed with dread at the sound of this news when Paulson’s coworkers started worrying that this sad, lonely acquaintance of theirs might ask for some money. Thankfully, Paulson continued.

“Oh and it turns out my son might be gay. He didn’t actually come out and tell me or anything but I think I caught him making out with a male friend of his. I mean, I don’t have anything wrong with homosexuality or whatever, but I’m not sure if I’m prepared to handle all this, you know? Not all at once anyway.”

Paulson’s coworkers politely shook their heads, reciprocating with a dismissive “Oh, wow, I’m sorry, buddy.” A few made this mistake of leaving with “If you need anything I’m here for you,” which they immediately regretted once receiving a text from Paulson shortly afterwards inviting them out to go bowling over the weekend. None have responded to the text yet.

More on this as it develops.

 

Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

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