Last week we looked at some reasons why we should all enjoy the Christmas season, but in the last seven days Circus Killer feels as though Christmas has turned on us. Here some reasons to hate the season:

1. Lying to young children is mandatory.

2. Getting guilted into attending church.

3. All shopping malls are converted into refugee camps.

4. Last three paychecks all go to purchasing gift cards.

5. Not knowing what greeting to use for ethnically confusing coworkers.

6. Niceness.

7. Ogling at decorations is a leading cause of suburban car accidents.

8. Awkward annual phone call with relative whose name you don’t quite remember.

9. Disney’s massive erection.

10. Candy canes are a heartless jape at the geriatric.

11. Incessant playing of hackneyed jingles that were used by the CIA to torture suspected terrorists.

12. Lasts 30 days.

Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd | Ask.fm
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.