Salesman Arthur Donahue was the focal point of an emergency situation yesterday in Coldwater, Nebraska when he became trapped inside his car after entangling himself within his raincoat.

Arthur was parked in a Chick-fil-a parking lot where he had driven to get lunch. Arthur decided to put on his raincoat before exiting the vehicle to avoid getting wet.

“That’s really where he made his first mistake,” said first responder Officer Dale Gamble. “Well I mean really his first mistake was going to Chick-fil-a for lunch. Fast food’s bad for you. But the decision to exist the vehicle is ultimately what got him into this mess.”

Scattered witnesses reported seeing Arthur wobbling back and forth in his car with his arms contorted behind, around and over his body, but nobody thought Arthur was in any serious trouble. It was hours before someone recognized that the oaf needed assistance.

“I saw him there when I went for lunch,” said Peggy Mulroney, the woman who eventually called the authorities. “Then I returned to the restaurant for dinner and I remembered him from a few hours ago. He was screaming for help… I guess everyone thought he was toddler like all of the other people who scream from being in a car in a Chick-fil-a parking lot for over 30 minutes.”

Emergency services were called and Arthur was rescued when fireman managed to remove the driver’s side door. Arthur spent the night in the hospital but was released early this morning with no signs of permanent injury. Seth Rogan will probably star in a movie about him.

Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

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