Depressing Man Looking Forward to Daily Ritual of Eating Milky Way Bar During Drive Home

Donald Murphy, an average office worker, claims that the daily consumption of a Milky Way bar while sitting in gridlock on the way home from work is the one thing that keeps him going throughout the day.

Donald, a 43-year-old balding overweight turtle of a man, says that work is tough for him because he doesn’t get the respect he feels he deserves. Often, for example, Donald will attempt to join a conversation at the water cooler but participants of these conversations will always form a blockade with their bodies, shutting out Donald subconsciously. Coworkers will also gather near Donald’s cubicle mistaking both Donald and his workstation for an empty space, and engage in loud, hardy conversations about sex, drinking, dancing, and other things that make Donald nervous.

This vexes the bumbling, socially anxious Donald for a number of reasons, particularly because he’s the only person in the office who actually does his work. His coworkers spend their office hours talking, flirting and having affairs with each other, and only approach Donald to make him do their work for them.

Donald finds release in his daily Milky Way habit. He finds comfort in some other habits, which include biting his nails, mumbling his words, and not growing a backbone.

 

Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd | Ask.fm
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s