14 Little Known Behind-The-Scenes Facts About “Game of Thrones”

HBO’s hit series “Game of Thrones” has returned for its seventh season to the delight of everyone around the world except for that one friend of yours who is always quick to tell people that he has no plans on ever watching it. But what is it like on the set of this fantasy masterpiece that has taken the internet by storm and inspired vapid world leaders to think walls do anything? We sent one of our reporters to find out. Check out these 14 facts about the show you didn’t know.

 

1. The actor who plays Samwell Tarly eats 30 hotdogs every morning just to stay out of shape.

2. As a show of devotion, Liam Cunningham cut off his fingers in the middle of his audition for the part of Ser Davos Seaworth.

3. One of the dragons on the show is transgender.

4. More people have died on set than characters have died on the show.

5. The actor who played Grand Maester Pycelle refused to wear anything beneath his robes.

6. The “Iron Throne” was constructed by melting down thousands of spatulas, not swords.

7. Every actor who has played “The Mountain” has had to eat the previous actor who played him.

8. Emilia Clarke was cast as Daenerys Targaryen because she has in fact given birth to lizards.

9. The Wall is not CG. It took three gaffers on the show four thousand years to construct it.

10. Michelle Fairley’s throat really was cut open during the “Red Wedding.” The producers didn’t tell her it was coming so that her reaction would be authentic.

11. Each of the seven kingdoms is filmed on a different continent. Everything east of the “Narrow Sea” was filmed on another planet.

12. The gilded prosthetic hand worn by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau has a rich chocolaty center.

13. The actors who play the Wight Walkers are kept in a frozen meat locker when they’re not shooting.

14. The original opening credits theme song had lyrics that just described how amazing Peter Dinklage is.

 

Written by J. S. Wydra: @jswydra
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DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.

Talkative Workmate Completely Ruining Game of Thrones

The newest episode of HBO’s hit series Game of Thrones aired last night, becoming the primary conversational subject around the office just like every Monday during the months that new episodes are released. Lately, however, this chatter has started to ruin the show for many longtime Game of Thrones fans in a local Milwaukee office.

Geoffrey Frederman from the human resources department started watching the series when the newest season aired last Sunday without seeing any of the previous four seasons, reports say. Geoffrey has of course become obsessed with the groundbreaking series, however his naïve take on the events depicted in the last two episodes is really starting to ruin things for everybody.

“Man, I didn’t know that attractive guy with the gold hand had three kids with that mean blond lady,” Geoffrey reportedly told several coworkers. “I guess he’s also a horrible person for not raising his kids. Why did they make all the blonds just the worst?”

Everyone in the office who watches the show has decided not to fill Geoffrey on the last four seasons because it would just take way too much time.

“I don’t want to explain why Peter Dinklage is a drunk fugitive or why ‘the hot one with the white hair’ has all these dragons flying about,” said Jan from accounting. “It’s the fifth year of this damn show, he should know this stuff by now.”

Other people in the office have sworn off of the show until they finish reading the books, but Geoffrey was not even aware that a book series existed until last week. Geoffrey has miraculously managed to avoid all spoilers for the entire series, which annoys everyone in the office more.

“Everyone knows what happened to Ned Stark,” continued Jan. “Everyone. People who have never even heard of Sean Bean knows what happened to Ned Stark. Goddammit.”

 

Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.

Man’s Resume Just List of Shows He’s Watched

Years into his search for a job, Blaine Eberts has begun submitting resumes to potential employers that are just a complete lists of television shows he has watched or is currently watching. The people who have received his resume are generally split on whether Blaine has simply given up, or if it’s the most genius career tactic ever conceived.

“I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do with this,” said the manager of a local grocery that Blaine recently applied to. “I mean, it’s great that he’s fully caught up on Game of Thrones, but I don’t see how that’s supposed to help him stack shelves.”

“See, this is a brilliant move,” said a Human Resources manager at a Bank of America. “By just submitting this list of television programs, he’s telling me that I’m not worth his time and that he thinks he’s above this position. It shows how badly he wants to move straight to the top and makes me want to hire him more because I now crave his respect.”

In fact, it does appear that Blaine spent a lot of time crafting this unconventional resume. Everything is color-coded and listed by genre, and it includes charts and graphs for elements such as average number of laughs per episode, average number of deaths per episode, average percentage of non-white people and average number of appearances by Nick Kroll.

Blaine was not available to comment; he’s been busy ever since M*A*S*H was added to Netflix streaming.

 

Circus Killer News: @circuskillernws
Circus Killer: @circuskillerprd
By Jacob S. Wydra: @jswydra

DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.