Dreams are one of the most peculiar functions of the human brain. People will often look for complex or even mystical meanings behind their dreams, but dreams are much simpler than people make them out to be. This is because every function of the human body, including dreams, relates to sex, food, death, and nothing else.
Flying – Flying, floating, and levitating are all very common dreams. Some people even claim to feel the sensation that they’re flying when they’re awake and on an airplane. If you have a dream that you can fly, it probably just means you have gas.
Falling – Unlike flying dreams, falling is when you’re plummeting through the air and have no control over it. Falling dreams mean that your spouse is having an affair with their sky diving instructor.
Teeth Falling Out – Dreams about losing teeth, hair, pancreases, and other body parts are common among people who are stressed out. These dreams usually mean that a spider is crawling into your open mouth at that very moment.
Back In High School – This is one of the most common dreams for people in their thirties. If you recently had a dream that you were back in high school then the person you lost your virginity to has just died.
Sex Dream – Though it’s a common mistake, sex dreams actually have nothing to do with sex. They usually just mean you’re a terrible, wicked human being and that you desperately need Jesus in your life.
Being Chased By Something – These are more like nightmares than dreams. Some scientists say that they are a precursor to paranoia, but others believe they are due to mind control microwaves that the government is blasting into your home from that unmarked van across the street.
Getting Your Mind Hacked Into – These aren’t dreams, they’re memories. You’ve been incepted.
Your Own Death – Many people have dreams about when and how they will die, but these dreams are almost never accurate. In truth, dreams about your own death mean that you’re pregnant, or have just gotten someone pregnant.
Someone Else’s Death – Unlike dreaming about your own death, this type of dream is completely real. Start saying your goodbyes.
William H. Macy – Humans have been having dreams about William H. Macy for thousands of years. Scientists still don’t know what these dreams signify.
DISCLAIMER: Circus Killer News is a faux news blog. None of the stories on this site should be taken seriously or literally.